Life of Brian

(1979) A satirical film by Monty Python about a man who is born at the same time as Jesus, and whose life parallels his.

'For more of Monty Python, see also: Monty Python's Flying Circus, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, and Monty Python's the Meaning of Life''

• "But apart from the sanitation, the medicine, education, wine, public order, irrigation, roads, the fresh-water system and public health, what have the Romans ever done for us?"

• "Nobody is to stone anybody until I blow this whistle. Even, and I want to make this absolutely clear, even if they do say Jehovah." [Speaker is stoned]

• "I say you are, lord, and I should know... I've followed a few."

• "Now you listen here! He's not the Messiah! He's a very naughty boy! Now go away!"

• "Crucifixion? Good. Out of the door, line on the left, one cross each"

• [Blind man]: "It's a miracle! Before I was blind but now I can see!" [Falls into a hole]

• "There's no Messiah in here. There's a mess all right, but no messiah."

• "What are you doing creeping round a cowshed at 2 O'clock in the morning? That doesn't sound very wise to me."

• [Brian, to a crowd:] "You are all individuals!"
  [Crowd] "YES YES WE ARE ALL INDIVIDUALS!"
  [Brian:] "You are all different."
  [Crowd] "YES WE ARE ALL DIFFERENT"
  [Lone voice in the crowd:] "I'm not."
  [Person next to him]: "SHH!"

• "I'm Brian, and so is my wife!"

• "Anybody here who does not want to be crucifed, raise their hand now...that's what I thought." [Everybody is crucified so nobody can raise their hand.]

• "Always look on the bright side of life."

• "Always look on bright side of death, just before you draw your terminal breath."

• "It's every man's right to have babies if he wants them."
  "But... you can't have babies."
  "Don't you oppress me."
  "I'm not oppressing you, Stan. You haven't got a womb! Where's the foetus going to gestate?! You going to keep it in a box?!"

• "He has given us... His shoe!"

• "I think it was 'Blessed are the cheesemakers.'"
  "Ahh, what's so special about the cheesemakers?"
  "Well, obviously, this is not meant to be taken literally. It refers to any manufacturers of dairy products."

• Brian: I'm not the Messiah! Will you please listen? I am not the Messiah, do you understand? Honestly!
  Woman: Only the true Messiah denies His divinity!
  Brian: What?! Well, what sort of chance does that give me? All right! I am the Messiah!
  Followers: He is! He is the Messiah!
  Brian: Now, fuck off!
  [silence]
  Arthur: How shall we fuck off, o Lord?
  Brian: Oh, just go away! Leave me alone.

• (Brian is writing graffiti on the palace wall. The Centurion catches him in the act)
  Centurion : What's this, then? "Romanes eunt domus"? People called Romanes, they go, the house?
  Brian : It says, "Romans go home. "
  Centurion : No it doesn't ! What's the latin for "Roman"? Come on, come on !
  Brian : Er, "Romanus"!
  Centurion : Goes like?
  Brian : Annus.
  Centurion : Vocative plural of "Annus" is?
  Brian : Er, er, annus, anni, anno, annum, anno, anni... "Romani"!
  Centurion : (Writes "Romani" over Brian's graffiti) "Eunt"? What is "eunt"? Conjugate the verb, "to go" !
  Brian : Er, "Ire". Er, "eo", "is", "it", "imus", "itis", "eunt".
  Centurion : So, "eunt" is... ?
  Brian : Third person plural present indicative, "they go".
  Centurion : But, "Romans, go home" is an order. So you must use... ?
  (He twists Brian's ear)
  Brian : Aaagh ! The imperative !
  Centurion : Which is... ?
  Brian : Aaaagh ! Er, er, "i" !
  Centurion : How many Romans?
  Brian : Aaaaagh ! Plural, plural, er, "ite" !
  Centurion : (Writes "ite") "Domus"? Nominative? "Go home" is motion towards, isn't it?
  Brian : Dative !
  (the Centurion holds a sword to his throat)
  Brian : Aaagh ! Not the dative, not the dative ! Er, er, accusative, "ad domum" !
  Centurion : But "Domus" takes the locative, which is... ?
  Brian : Er, "Domum" !
  Centurion : (Writes "Domum") Understand? Now, write it out a hundred times.
  Brian : Yes sir. Thank you, sir. Hail Caesar, sir.
  Centurion : Hail Caesar ! And if it's not done by sunrise, I'll cut your balls off.

• Reg: The only people we hate more than the Romans are the fucking Judean People's Front.
  Stan: Yeah the Judean People's Front.
  Reg: Yeah.
  Stan: And the Popular Front of Judea.
  Reg: Yeah.
  Stan: And the People's Front of Judea.
  Reg: Yea...what?
  Stan: The People's Front of Judea.
  Reg: We're the People's Front of Judea!
  Stan: I thought we were the Popular Front.
  Reg: People's Front!
  Francis: What ever happened to the Popular Front?
  Reg: He's over there. (points to a lone man)
  Reg, Stan, Francis, and Judith: SPLITTER!

• Brian: Are you the Judean People's Front?
  Reg: Fuck off!...we're the People's Front of Judea

• Pontius Pilate: Whom shall you have me welease?
  Crowd: Welease Wodger!

• Pontius Pilate: I have a fwiend called Biggus Dickus!

External links

• Life of Brian at RottenTomatoes
• Life of Brian at IMDb