A Few Good Men

Dialogue

Spradling: We were supposed to meet in your office 15 minutes ago to discuss the McDermott case. You're stalling on this thing! Now, either we get it done, and I mean now, or no kidding, Kaffee, I'm going to hang your boy from a yardarm!

Kaffee: Yardarm? (to guy playing shortstop) Sherby, does the Navy still hang people from yardarms?

Sherby: I don't think so.

Kaffee: Dave, Sherby doesn't think the Navy hangs people from yardarms anymore.

Spradling: I'm going to charge him with possession and being under the influence while on duty. You plead guilty, I'll recommend 30 days in the brig with loss of rank and pay.

Kaffee: It was oregano, Dave. It was ten dollars' worth of oregano.

Spradling: Yeah, well, your client thought it was marijuana.

Kaffee: My client's a moron. That's not against the law.

Spradling: Kaffee, I've got people to answer to, just like you. I'm gonna charge him.

Kaffee: With what? Possession of a condiment?

Kaffee: You don't believe their story, do you? You think they should go to jail for the rest of their lives.

Sam Weinberg: I believe every word of their story. And I think they should go to jail for the rest of their lives.

• KAFFEE:I want the truth!
  JESSEP:You can't handle the truth!"

• KAFFEE: Don't call me 'son.' I am a lawyer and an officer in the United States Navy. And you're under arrest, you son-of-a-bitch.

Joanne Galloway: Why do you hate them so much?

Sam Weinberg:They picked on a weaker kid!That's all they did,all right? The rest of this is just smoke-filled coffeehouse crap. They didn't like him - so they killed him. And why? Because he couldn't run very fast!

Kaffee: And don't wear that perfume in court, it wrecks my concentration.

Joanne Galloway: Really?

Kaffee: I was talking to Sam.

Jo Galloway: Danny, I --

Danny Kaffee:I know what you're going to say. You don't have to. We've had our differences, I said some things I didn't mean, you said some things you didn't mean, but you're glad I stuck with the case. And if you've gained a certain respect for me over the last 3 weeks, well, of course I'm happy about that, but we don't have to make a whole big deal out of it. If you like me, I won't make you say it.

Jo: I was just going to tell you to wear matching socks tomorrow.

Danny: Okay. Good tip.

Joanne Galloway: I was wondering why two guys have been in a jail cell since this morning while their lawyer is outside hitting a ball.

Kaffee: We need the practice.

Joanne: That wasn't funny.

Kaffee: It was a little funny.

Joanne: Lieutenant, would you feel very insulted if I recommended to your supervisor that he assign different counsel?

Kaffee: Why?

Joanne: I don't think you're fit to handle this defense.

KAFFEE:You don't even know me. Ordinarily it takes someone hours to discover I'm not fit to handle a defense. (Pause) Oh, come on, that was damn funny.

Lieutenant Kaffee: Lieutenant Kendrick, may I call you John?

Lieutenant Kendrick: No. You may not.

Kaffee: Have I done something to offend you?

Kendrick: No, I like all you Navy boys. Whenever we gotta go someplace to fight, you fellas give us a ride.

Cast

Tom Cruise - Lt. Daniel Kaffee

Demi Moore - Lt. Com. Joanne Galloway

Jack Nicholsen - Col. Nathan R. Jessep

Kevin Bacon - Capt. Jack Ross

Kiefer Sutherland - Lt. Jonathan Kendrick

J.T. Walsh - Lt. Col. Matthew Markinson

Kevin Pollack - Lt. Sam Weinberg